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- About Bob
Kauai | Hawaiian Road Rage
Hawaii is a
miserable place when it rains. Soggy sand, flooded roads and
unbearable indoor humidity turn Hawaii into a wet nightmare
when the skies open. Of course it becomes even worse if you
happen to be hacking and 
coughing from a terrible cold
at the same time, while trapped in a hotel room with a
clogged sink, burned out bathroom light and a vent that
drips right onto your bed. The only thing that could
possibly make it worse was if this very expensive torture
festival happened to be your honeymoon.
It was ours.
Things started going wrong when Felicia and I boarded the plane in Philadelphia for San Francisco. The sore throat that had started on our wedding day two days previous began to become painful each time I swallowed. Still, I made the best of it as we rode the shuttle through San Francisco to our hotel near the top of Lombard Street. We had a beautiful view of the Golden Gate Bridge from our hotel window, though our non smoking room at the Vagabond Inn smelled strongly of stale smoke. We quickly vacated the room and hit the streets, walking to Fisherman's Wharf, then over to North Beach for dinner at Mona Lisa. We walked through Chinatown to Union Square, then caught the cable car there and rode it back to the top of Lombard. It was a romantic day, despite the fact I was feeling a little weak.
The chills started that night, and by morning I was worse. To keep Felicia from getting sick, I tried this little experiment where I didn't kiss her. That went over real well on our honeymoon.
We ate the free and plentiful hotel breakfast and walked to get our rental car. Felicia drove so I could rest. We drove out of city and along coastal route one to Carmel by the Sea. Checked into our nice bed and breakfast, the Carmel Country Inn, which had a fireplace. Then we walked around the village, going in galleries, exploring the alleys and alcoves. When we returned to our room, they had given us a bottle of champagne and some balloons. We had a drink, sitting romantically by the fireplaceThen we went out to dinner at Caffe Napoli, but I had no appetite. Still, despite my lethargic state, we still enjoyed sitting by the fire that night and watching TV. It was a very cozy, romantic setting.
I woke in the middle
of the night with chills, shivering uncontrollably. With
aspirin I eventually got 
back to
sleep, but getting up was no fun. I was so cold. We enjoyed
a nice breakfast, then hit the road, driving along the
cliffs and passing dramatic scenery as we headed south. We
went in Big Sur State Park and hiked a trail through redwood
forests to a waterfall. I was sweating bullets, but by the
end I felt much better. After seeing more of the coast,
including the impressive Bixby Bridge, we turned and drove
back to San Francisco. It was a long, slow drive.
The next morning we headed for Hawaii. Our departure was hampered somewhat by a sick person on the plane. We pulled out to the runway, only to have to return to the gate to spend an hour the person.
The flight was smooth, but the delay put us in Hawaii an hour late. It was muggy when we got there and cloudy. We got our car and drove across the mostly barren, dry landscape. When we reached the Royal Lahaina Hotel we told them we were honeymooners and they said they'd upgrade our room from partial ocean view to ocean view. But when we got to the room, there was no ocean in sight. Plus the sheets were unmade and the towels dirty.
When I phoned to say we had no ocean view, the woman on the line decided to argue with me rather than acquiesce. We had to go back down with our bags and the patient bell man to the desk to get a new room. This one had a better view (and clean sheets) but the sink, we soon discovered was clogged. And very soon the bathroom light died. On top of all this, just as we finally stepped outside to explore the grounds and see the ocean, it started to rain. Plus, Felicia started to get a sore throat. (O.K. so the rain and the sore throat weren't the fault of the Royal Lahaina, but much of our misery can be traced to the place. If you're thinking of staying there, please don't. We wrote the hotel's management company a letter explaining our concerns when we got home and they didn't even respond. Some service.)
Wet and miserable, we drove to the nearby town of Lahaina for dinner. I still couldn't taste too well, so the expensive meal was kind of a waste for me. The rain tapered off so we walked around and went in galleries. Then we went back and to bed early.
The morning offered no solace. It was pouring rain. We showered and went down for breakfast in the very hot, muggy dining room. The meal featured sloppy, runny scrambled eggs. We asked the concierge about the forecast and he cheerfully told us it would rain right through the weekend.
"We need the rain," he said, while we cursed him with our eyes. On TV, news reports said this was the worst rain in decades in Hawaii. Schools were closed on all islands and floods were rampant. What luck for us.
With Felicia feeling
progressively sicker, we decided to take a drive in the
rain. We drove north through Napali and Kapalua, stopping to
walk a muddy trail to the rocky shore during one lull in the
rain. Felicia had left her umbrella in the California rental
car, so we had to share mine, which got us both soaked.
We drove farther north, stopping for some views, into the more remote parts of the island, where rocks fell constantly from the cliffs onto the road. At one point, while we stopped to enjoy a view with another honeymooning couple from Miami, we heard a thunderous roar and turned to see dust rising from the road where a huge rock had fallen. A car approached and stopped, then turned around and drove off. Since that was back the way we had to go, we were a little scared. The other couple drove off and stopped at that point, and the man and another driver from the other direction cleared the rocks.
With the rain now stopped, Felicia and I kept driving, passing remote settlements and going onto the unmaintained part of the road that rental cars aren't supposed to go on. The scenery was much wilder up there. We eventually turned and went back, always wary of falling rocks.
We went to the Hula Grill that night for an excellent meal. The waitress forgot to take our order and felt so bad she gave us free appetizers. After we ate, we walked the path along the beach and went in shops and galleries in the Whalers Village there. That night Felicia couldn't sleep after the air conditioner vent above our bed began dripping water on her.
We woke to rain again. Felicia felt awful. We began to curse Hawaii. We ate another muggy, uncomfortable breakfast, then pondered our options. It was pouring so hard that the concierge (a different one) cautioned us not to drive up the Iao mountain valley where we planned to go. We did laundry, then bought stuff in town. From there we continued to the Iao Valley, despite the cautions. One good thing about the rain was that it created several cool waterfalls, which fell in long streams down the vertical cliffs. It was very beautiful. We hiked down the paved trail in the pouring rain to view the Iao Needle, cowering under our lone umbrella. Then we drove out of the valley, where it was no longer raining. Drove through Wailuku, observing how the mountains were still dark and rainy while the valley was sunny. Then we headed back.
We went to Black Rock and tried to snorkel, but it was too dark to see anything, as the sun was going down. Plus the water was murky from all the rain. It was also a rough surf. Later we had dinner in Lahaina and walked around town again.
Things started to go better after that. The next day we woke to sunny skies. Everyting looked so green. It was beautiful, the mountains, the beach, the nearby island of Lanai. Now we felt like we were in Hawaii-three days too late.
Unfortunately, we had agreed to attend a time share pitch to get $100 off the price of a snorkel cruise, so we had to waste 90 minutes doing that in the morning. After it was over, we went to an arts fair under the Banyon Tree in Lahaina where Felicia bought a nice ring. Then we drove straight to Wailea and found a nice beach to relax on. I went snorkeling and saw some cool, colorful fish. We stayed several hours, then drove farther south to walk on the sand at Makena Beach and watch the kids sliding on boards atop the water as it retreated toward the ocean.
The next day we took a snorkel cruise. About a dozen passengers set sail that day for a 5 hour tour. We motored toward Lanai, another island. Not too long after starting, we encountered dolphins, leaping out of the water. The captain changed course and soon the dolphins were swimming right alongside the boat, close enough to touch.
After a magical half hour with the dolphins, we continued to Lanai and got in the water with masks and snorkels. Below us was a coral reef and lots of colorful fish swam around. We just floated and watched them below us. I dove down deep a couple times, to get closer to the fish and take their pictures with our underwater camera. It was fun, but after an hour we were ready to get out. We washed off and they cooked burgers for us. We enjoyed a sunny ride back to Maui.
That night we went
to a fancy dinner at Swan Court, an elegant restaurant in
the Hyatt. We got a nice table right by the opening to the
swan pool outside. We were looking right at the waterfall
and the fading glow of the sun in the evening sky. It was
very romantic. We had a nice waiter and ordered crab
cake hors
d'oeuvres plus bison with prawns for dinner. Delicious
dinner. They served us sorbet between courses and gave us a
free chocolate swan for desert because it was our honeymoon.
It was a great meal-and for $100 it better have been.
The next day we drove to the top of the volcano and froze our butts off hiking into the windy (dormant) crater. Then we hurried back to get ready for the Royal Lahaina Luau, which was fun. The food was great as was the hula dancing.
The best part of our
trip was when we drove the Road to Hana, a winding road
through rain forests with countless waterfalls along the
way. We stopped frequently to look at the waterfalls and
once we hiked in a rain forest. In Hana, a very small town,
we stayed in a really nice bed & breakfast called
Heavenly Flora on a flower farm. This was a remote part of
the island-so far away that despite it being election day we
didn't hear a 
word about it (thankfully). Drove
into town for dinner at a take out window-the only show in
town. Drove down to the beach and watched the waves, then
returned to the B&B. Wrote post cards and listened to
music in the living room, which we had to ourselves.
In the morning Stephanie, the native Hawaiian caretaker, had a good breakfast waiting for us. We
walked a bit through the gardens, which were more a maze of scattered plants than anything organized. Then we drove to some beautiful waterfalls at Ohe'O Gulch, which had carved out deep pools at their bases, and we swam in them. This was amazingly pretty. We got there early and had the pleasure of swimming all alone in the pools, with the waterfalls behind. I hiked up a few waterfalls from where we were and swam all alone in a big pool. That was cool. Later we tried to hike to view a bigger fall, but decided it would take too long and aborted the trek.
We continued driving
on the sharply curving road along the cliffs-a very remote
route. Stopped to see the unimpressive grave of Charles
Lindberg, and continued 
past, where
the road became potholed and uneven, with no guard rail and
sharp turns and one-way stretches. Very scenic, but
unfortunately too many tourists were out exploring, so there
were jams. We turned and drove back, stopping in a park to
see the black sand beach and go in a cave there. Then we had
pizza for dinner and returned to the B&B. The owner,
Anthony, had returned from his trip to London and for some
inexplicable reason, he was hard at work setting up his
Christmas tree. It was early November. Christmas music
filled the air. Felicia and I drank some champagne United
Airlines had given us and finished writing post cards in the
living room. "Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" sang Burl Ives,
as Anthony decked the tree with Barbie dolls.
In the morning we were out of there. We drove back along the winding road, detouring through some small towns along the way. We saw rainbows over the ocean and distant waterfalls falling from cliffs along the coast.
I should mention that we were more than happy to get rid of our rental car. It was infested with bugs. Big roaches. They seemed most active at night. As soon as the dome light went on we would see dozens of them scattering into crevaces in the carpet. It was a bit creepy knowing they were there, but not being able to see them as we drove.
The next leg of our trip was to the island of Kauai. It was a short flight (with open seating, like on a train) and soon we were driving on another island. We stopped at Wailua and Opaeka'a Falls en route to our hotel, the Kauai Coconut Beach hotel. It was a much nicer hotel with a great view over the pool to the ocean. Plus champagne was waiting for us. We ate dinner in the Kapa'a Fish and Chowder House and went to a mall to go in souvenir shops and galleries. Back at hotel we sat on a chair on the beach, looking at the waves and up into the clear night sky, where we could see Jupiter and Saturn.
We woke to sun. Enjoyed a nice breakfast at an outdoor table. Drove right away to the end of the road on the north of the island at Ha'ena Beach. On the way there we experienced a curious case of Hawaii road rage.
Crossing a pair of one-lane wooden bridges, I slowed to enjoy the scenery--and because I figured it was safest to go slow over old wooden bridges. I noticed there was a pickup truck right on my back bumper, revving its engine. As I continued driving, the guy honked at me, and I could hear him yelling unintelligible things out his window. As soon as we got off the second bridge, I pulled over to let the impatient idiot pass, but a car was approaching and he couldn't get by. I heard more cursing. Finally he pulled alongside us and started screaming. I could see he was a native, and obviously had a grudge against tourists whom he thought were clogging up his roads. I looked away to deny him the pleasure of an audience and he drove ahead of us. But as I started driving, he slowed and stuck his head out his window to continue yelling, apparently upset that I didn't appear to be paying him any attention. I continued to ignore him and eventually he sped away, off to whatever appointment he was so late for.
Felicia and I hiked
two miles on the rugged Kalalau Trail along the beautiful Na
Pali Coast. The views of the coast were stunning. Amazing
coastal scenery with cliffs and crashing surf.
Felicia was
a bit uncertain on the muddy downhills, but she did great,
persevering to get to the beach, where the trail dropped
down to a river, which flowed into the ocean. It looked like
a wonderful place to go swimming, but on the trail nearby a
couple was were nailing up a sign in memory of some of the
people who had died swimming at that very beach, which has
fierce currents. It was a very sobering thought at such a
pretty location. A number of people sat on the rocks at the
beach, as the hike lures numerous people each day. No one
swam, which was good.
The hike back was just as rugged, but Felicia did well. Soon we were on Ke'e Beach, where we decided to stay for the afternoon. Great snorkeling with lots of colorful fish. I amused myself a long while there. We browsed in the town of Hanalei on way back and tried to see Kilauea Lighthouse, but the trail to it was closed. We ate in the Lighthouse Restaurant near there. Good pesto chicken but very slow service. Drove back to our hotel and had our champagne while sitting on chairs on the beach. Very romantic, looking up at the full moon and out at the wide open sea, waves breaking gently on the shore.
The next day was our last one in Hawaii. We ate our last breakfast, checked out and drove south and west to the Waimea Canyon, which looks just like the Grand Canyon, with all the layers of sediment. Spectacular scenery. Even saw mountain goats. Saw a full rainbow at the Kalalau Lookout.
Stopped in Koloa and looked in shops. Went to Poipu. Had dinner at a burger place, then returned to Poipu beach after dark. Walked a bit. Drove back to the hotel and spent our last hours sipping pina coladas by the beach at night, looking up at the full moon, a great ending to the trip. Then we got our bags, drove to the airport, and at 10:30 p.m. we headed home.
(For those of you who feel, after reading this entire story, that I complain too much and I should just deal with problems like those I encountered here, think about how boring this story would have been if I hadn't emphasized all the bad things that happened. Unexpected problems make for good stories. After all, I got you to read the story, didn't I? For the record, we had a great honeymoon, despite all the problems I stressed in this story. But thanks for your concern.)
E-mail Bob
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